Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
