It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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