I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
pray to the hookup gods
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
