tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
