I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
