You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
