Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
