margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
