Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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