gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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