She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I need to calm my uterus...
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
