i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
