friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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