my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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