11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
