its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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