Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
