Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
