so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
