I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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