..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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