At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
