maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
