Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
