do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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