Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
