all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
