Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
