Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
