You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
