the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
