I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
