New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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