So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
