I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
