We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
