no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
