Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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