i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Sober January is a disaster.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
