There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
