I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
where am i from again
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
