Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
