hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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