I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You are a genius and a whore.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
