Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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