before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
