wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
