Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
