YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
