phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
